Recession reflections.

I have been applying for full time positions ever since I got back from Kenya, nearly three months ago now (woah) and last Friday I got my very first interview. I was (and still am) very encouraged to get something, a response! The interview did not go as I had hoped but what it did do was give me huge insight into just how much I have gone backwards over the past six months.
I realised that since my trip I have come back with a different persepective, not only that, but I've come back without the passion for the music industry that I once had in such a totally geeky way - now my passion has shifted to a focus on overseas or cross cultural mission. I look at this shift in two ways, I get sad remembering 'what was' and 'what could have been' when I think about certain decisions I made in the path I have chosen in taking the time off to go overseas and finish up my small business and wonder where I'd be now if I'd stuck to my business or stayed on at the music network - on the other hand, I also look at it with great thankfullness.
Music used to be a total idol for me, it consumed my time, money, energy, devotion and so on, over the years this has shifted, slowly but surely and my desire has been moving closer to just wanting to glorify Christ in my every movement. For this change I am so thankful, but it has made me realise that living in this world, when that is your goal, is much harder. It's not a natural desire, living for music & success came much more naturally to me and the world gave me what I wanted when I saught after them. The more I look to Jesus, the more I realise that this world isn't it, it's just a part of it & heaven is the ultimate reward, remembering that what we do in this part is all to point to the next.

It's interesting being a part of the large number of young job seekers in this recession, but it's just the way it is and I believe it's what God wants for me right now. He doesn't want to go backwards & fix the direction he has taken me... he chose it, it's perfect, it's unfolding, and I'm trusting.